From the Jewish Marriage Page 23 – 24
Love and commitment are not enough to get married, and for more than one reason. There is no guarantee that today’s love will not go sour. Nor is there a necessary connection between love and capacity to protect one’s future partner from the contingencies noun (plural) a future event or circumstance which is possible but cannot be predicted with certainty and exigencies noun (plural) an urgent need or demand of life. And finally, life together, even though obviously in need of some measure of spontaneity also demands a structure, even a relatively rigid framework, which will allow the relationship to prosper. The marriage ceremony itself projects the primacy ot the legal framework in Jewish tradition. The ceremony contains no affirmation |ˌafərˈmāSH(ə)n | noun – 1 the action or process of affirming something or being affirmed:
1 Law a formal declaration by a person who declines to take an oath for reasons of conscience.
2 emotional support or encouragement of love by the couple. Love cannot be legislated, but legitimate responsibilities can be, and are, legislated. The marriage ceremony is primarily a legal act, and a legal undertaking.
In the framework clearly set up in the legal compact, areas of responsibility are coherently delineated verb [with object] – describe or portray (something) precisely
• indicate the exact position of (a border or boundary).
, with room for maneuvering where the specific situation allows,or even calls for, adjustment. The structure and detail of the marital covenant free the couple from entering into the union as if it were a business, and allows their full attention to be directed to each other.
The legal document which binds the marriage is known as the Ketuvah. The Ketuvah, in the legal dimension, underlines the relationship and spells out the husband’s obligations to his wife both during and after the marriage that is prohibited for the relationship to continue for the smallest time period without the wife having the Ketuvah.
It should also be noted that aside from basic Ketuvah and conjugal obligations, as well as aspects of inheritance, the couple can negotiate both before and after the wedding, the other responsibilities in marriage. As with the other commandments, The tradition affords a delicate balance, providing the structure, and also providing the freedom of the couple to respond to each other, in the context of the structure, in their own unique way.
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